LeBron James Does LITERALLY EVERYTHING

Author:
Gary Gramling
Publish date:
Apr 1, 2009

Imagine that you are Juwan Staten, the star point guard for Thurgood Marshall High School. You've just played an amazing game in the Ohio Division II state championship, scoring 28 points. But it wasn't enough. Your team has lost, and all you want to do is hang your head and cry.

As your eyes fill with tears, someone puts his or her arm around you. Maybe it's a coach, maybe a teammate, or maybe a parent. But it's not. IT'S LEBRON JAMES!

Yes, Bron himself was at the game to see his alma mater -- St. Vincent-St. Mary -- beat Staten's Thurgood Marshall team.

Now, Staten isn't your ordinary high school basketball player. He's a great one. The junior has verbally committed to play for the University of Dayton in two seasons. But still, this must have been the most bizarre moment of his life. Here's what Staten told the Dayton Daily News:

"I didn't know who had me 'til I heard everybody saying, 'That's LeBron... It's LeBron. When I picked my head up, I saw it was LeBron James... He told me to pick my head up that I had done all I could. He told me he knew how I felt because he'd lost the state championship game his junior year, too. He told me he thought I could get back here again because I'm a great player who can help lift his team."

So it's further proof that LeBron can do anything. Literally anything. But it also raises questions, because there is no way any one man can do so many things on and off the court, and do them so well. Here are my two theories on how Bron does it:

1. Remember that Nike ad a few years ago with "The LeBrons"? It was four of 'em hanging by the pool, or having dunk contests. Well, that wasn't just an ad. It was a documentary. LeBron isn't just one guy. He's actually four guys. One LeBron concentrates on basketball, while the others do commercials and interviews, make TV appearances, and console high school basketball players.

2. The more likely explanation: LeBron James is actually Superman, Spider-Man, Wolverine, and The Incredible Hulk, rolled into one.