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The 2018 NCAA Tournament Eating Game

It’s like a drinking game, but with eating. 

The internet loves drinking games—not the beer pong/flip cup sort, but the kind you play while watching sports on TV. Hell, we here at Extra Mustard did one (almost!) every week during the 2015 NFL season. But that seems kind of tired by now. Plus, it’s a little inappropriate if you’re playing while watching a game in which most of the participants are below the legal drinking age. 

So instead we’re going with an eating game. You were probably already planning on stuffing your face during the first weekend of games, so here are some guidelines for doing so. 

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If Jim Nantz says “Hello, friends.” ... eat a slice of pizza to get you going. 

If a friend texts you about his/her bracket being busted ... eat a piece of chocolate. 

If you hear a Cinderella reference from the announcers ... eat an apple. (It’s healthy, you’ll be hearing this plenty.)

If an announcer reminds you, “A 16 seed has never beaten a 1 seed.” ... eat a handful of French fries. 

If Bill Raftery yells “ONIONS!” ... eat a basket of onion rings. 

If a player cries ... eat a raw onion so you’re crying too.

If someone makes a buzzer beater ... eat all the Skittles you probably just spilled on the floor. 

If there’s an Ashley Judd sighting ... eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken. 

If there’s a Bill Murray sighting ... eat some Chicago pizza. 

If Sean Miller sweats through his shirt ... eat a hot pepper.

If a player does an awkward celebratory dance ... eat some celebratory caviar. 

If Grayson Allen trips somebody ... eat a nice after-dinner mint. 

If an announcer mentions the FBI’s college hoops investigation ... eat your foot. That won’t be happening.