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The Stinky Five


The Brain was kind enough to leave me the keys to the Dugout Dispatch this week while she’s on vacation. (While she didn’t tell me where she was going, I’m assuming she’s making a pilgrimage to Goose Creek, South Carolina – the birthplace of Baltimore Orioles super catcher Matt Wieters.)

Without further delay, here are baseball’s five stinkiest teams:

1. Cleveland Indians
As if a 2-10 record over their last 12 games wasn’t bad enough, Cleveland decided to make things a little bit worse by trading their second-best hitter -- Mark DeRosa -- to the Cardinals last week. The AL Central is weak, but a team as stinky as the Indians has no chance of making a mid-season run in the standings.

2. Arizona Diamondbacks
Losers of five in a row, the Diamondbacks are really struggling. Two of the team’s starting outfielders, Chris Young (.199 batting average) and Eric Byrnes (.216), are hovering around the Mendoza Line, and pitching ace Brandon Webb won’t be back for a long time. If you’re a D-Backs fan, life pretty much stinks right now.

3. Oakland Athletics
First, Moneyball, a movie based on the book that looked at Oakland GM Bill Beane's methods, gets canned. And now the Athletics have fallen into the Stinky Five! That’s what happens when you lose five straight and are 10.5 games out of first place in June. The team’s season-long power outage has shown no signs of getting switched back on.

4. New York Mets
Since they have a zillion dollar payroll and play in New York, the Mets are held to a higher standard than most teams, which is why being swept by the Yankees is inexcusable. Things hit an all-time stinky low last night when K-Rod walked Mariano Rivera with the bases load! If you’re anywhere near Queens, you can likely smell the Mets’ stink.

5. Texas Rangers
The Rangers are only 1.5 games out of first, but are a dismal 3-7 in their last 10 games. The reason? Nope, not pitching. Hitting! Texas is hitting .220 for the month of June, the franchise’s lowest total for any month since 1972!

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