What Sports Would Iron Man, Superman, Wolverine and Thor Play?

What would happen if teams could recruit superheroes from this summer's Hollywood blockbusters? Let's just say you'd have the ultimate all-star lineup!


wolverine as an hnl defenseman
Wolverine as an NHL defenseman

Sports Strengths: Born in Alberta, Canada, Wolverine is a mutant with superhuman senses. His razor-sharp fangs and claws make him an intimidating blueliner.

Sports Weaknesses: Wolverine is always at war with his own animal nature. He is prone to trash-talking and fits of rage — which means he usually ends up in the penalty box.

Secret Skill: His healing ability. Wolverine is able to recover from any hard hit, cut, bruise, broken bone, or missing tooth faster than a mere mortal.

The Wolverine opens on July 26.

thor as a big-league slugger
Thor as a Big League Slugger

Sports Strengths: Thor is a powerful ancient god who possesses superhuman endurance — a big advantage during a long and grueling baseball season. As one of the founding members of the Avengers, he is also a strong team player.

Sports Weaknesses: Brash and hotheaded, Thor has a tendency to get himself into trouble, especially since there's no arguing balls and strikes in baseball.

Secret Skill: Who needs a bat when you have a hammer? His signature weapon makes Thor an ideal designated hitter.
 
Thor: The Dark World opens on November 8.

iron man as a golfer
Iron Man as a Golfer
 
Sports Strengths: Tony Stark's man-of-leisure attitude and his genius engineering skills make him well-suited for success on the back nine.
 
Sports Weaknesses: The billionaire turned superhero gets distracted by parties, superfans, and expensive gear.
 
Secret Skill: Stark controls all the devices within his armor — from his jet boots to his laser beams — through the "cybernetic helmet" in his Iron Man suit. It also enables him to control the speed and direction of his drives and putts with pinpoint accuracy.
 
Iron Man 3 is now playing.

superman as mr. everything
Superman as Mr. Everything
 
Sports Strengths: With his X-ray vision, rocket speed, and super strength, Superman is a star in any sport.
 
Sports Weaknesses: He only has one, but it's a big weakness. All the competition needs to defeat Superman is the glowing space rock kryptonite.
 
Secret Skill: If he somehow falls behind in a game, Superman can spin the Earth and reverse time. Talk about a super do-over!
 
Man of Steel opens on June 14.

Illustrations by Gary Locke

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