Favre Announces Return... To Baseball!

In what might be the most shocking development in a career full of them, Brett Favre has announced he will play in 2010. No, not football (he's still undecided). Favre will play baseball this season!

With Minnesota Twins All-Star closer Joe Nathan out for the season, Favre, once a baseball star at Hancock North Central High School in Kiln, Mississippi, announced that he'll be joining the Twins as their new closer.

"My arm feels great," the 41-year-old Favre told reporters. "I just really feel like I can help the Twins win some ball games this year."

Favre says there's no need for extended spring training. His super-secret training regimen has him ready to pitch today.

"I've spent the entire winter chucking pinecones at squirrels," says the football great. "That's all the spring training I need."

The Twins couldn't be more excited.

"I'm really looking forward to working with Brett," manager Ron Gardenhire said. "I think we can get a few good days out of him before he retires in mid-April. Then he'll unretire right after Memorial Day and give us a few good weeks before re-retiring sometime around June 20. After a couple of teary-eyed press conferences, we think he'll be good to unretire again right after he celebrates Rosh Hashanah [the Jewish New Year] in early September."

As for his Vikings teammates, they're left to watch and wait to see if their QB will return next year. But they have no doubt that Favre will be dominant in the big leagues.

"That dude's arm is something else," says Vikings tight end Jim Kleinsasser. "Once in practice, he threw a football so hard that the leather peeled off of it. And then it caught fire. And then someone shot a bullet at it but it actually out-ran the bullet. And then the Army was on full alert because they thought it was some kind of UFO alien invasion because it was the fastest object they had ever seen. It's just too bad the play was supposed to be a screen pass to Chester Taylor."

Of course, the most important part of the story is this: Today is April 1. And you know what that means... APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!! APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY GOT YOU!!!!!!!!!

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