Ochocinco's tweets are funnier than Jay Leno's new show:
''@BritneySpears Britney are you still looking for a back up dancer, there might be a lockout in 2011, my number is the same, call me.''
(2:26 PM Nov 1)
''Goodnight to you all and remember haters are merely confused admirers, accept the vegetables for they taste bad but r so good for you.zzzzzz''
(6:36 PM Nov 3)
Chapter ideas from Ochocinco's soon-to-be written book on how to get the girl when you have no money:
''Ladies--overlook age and the word scrub and loser, it doent matter if he doesn't work, job won't be needed if he gets a hold of you, chptr 2''
(5:59 AM Nov 3)
Photo: Heinz Kluetmeier/SI, Frazer Harrison/Getty Images