Paul Ulane

Hey Yankees and Red Sox: HURRY UP!!!

Listen people: I love sports and I love watching sports. I’ll sit down and watch everything from baseball to bocce ball. If there’s a heated competition going on between two opponents, it’s worth watching. And nothing makes big games more thrilling than a brutal battle between two heated division rivals.

Which is why I’m as shocked as you are with what I’m about to say. But here it goes…

The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry has GOT to change.

I’ve had enough. This rivalry has sapped all the fun out of baseball. Every time these two teams play, the game feels like it lasts forever. Primetime games don’t end until the next day. Batters step out of the batter’s box on every pitch. Pitchers wander in circles around the mound. Catchers call meetings. Managers switch pitchers about every fourth pitch. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

The Yankees and Red Sox have played 12 games so far this season, and only one of them was under three hours…and that one barely made it under, at 2 hours and 58 minutes. The pace of these games is unbearable. These teams have the second and third best records in the Majors, but watching them play each other is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

So I’m proposing some simple solutions for the last six regular season games left between the Yanks and the Sox this year:

- Seeing as every at-bat between these two offensive juggernauts results in a 3-2 count, I would like to change the rules: batters are only allowed 3 balls and two strikes from here on out. That should cut about half an hour off of game times.

- Since every one of these games usually takes close to two and a half hours just to get to the seventh inning, that’s when their games will end now. Less American League, more Little League.

- And attention David Ortiz: you are only allowed to spit into your batting gloves once an at-bat. How much stickier can you get your gloves, Big Papi? Come on already!

Look, if these two teams face-off in the playoffs, let them duke it out for as long as it takes to crown a winner. But for the rest of their regular season games, let’s change things up a bit and get these games over with in a reasonable amount of time. Who’s with me?

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I disagree with your opinion. I think that we should have longer games because our team has a better chance of tighing it up if you are losing.

i like the yankees but that was very funny

funny stuff man


!!!!!!!! hi it's ashton from the Usa!!!!! LOL

boston is the best team ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yankee fans have real big big big big problems if they like the yankees!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Yankees are the best team ever! RED SOX fans have a real big big big problems if they like the Red Sox!!!!!!!

Rivalry is not only compition that is hard for the players, but it's fun to watch and more money is going to whatever team

That pic is so funny

Bring back fantasy football to SI Kids!! Please!


Maybe also show a different sunday prime time game!!! The Phils and Giants were on that same day. REMATCH OF LAST YEAR'S NLCS!!!! And Lincecum was pitching. That was an interesting game.

so what? it's a rivalry, it's supposed to take forever

I agree! If red sox v yankees was a short 2 hour game, nobody would watch it, because it would be so BORING. As a red sox fan, i like the long games. Plus i think that every batter has the right to do whatever they want during an at-bat and nobody just walks up there and swings, everybody has some kind of warmup so papis must involve spitting in his gloves.

Actually, I agree. I really think Yankees and Red Sox games are really taking too long. Think of the kids. We can't stay up this late. We can't even see the whole game. To me, I think it's really frustrating that these games are taking so long.

lets just face it the redsox are just plain better than the yankees. if u don't believe me look at their record this season.
red sox have won 10 against the yankees and newyork has won just 2 it don't matter how long the games are the sox are better and we have stats to prove it.

also david ortiz has all the right in the world to spit on his gloves. and professor ulane if you can't sit and enjoy a baseball game than stick to bocce ball.

boston is the best ever. you are the best.

yea go boston yankees sssssssssttttttiiiiiinnnnnkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with speedstriker24 Yankees stink

This coming from a baseball fan in general. Lets first compare positions.
C: BoSox: Saltalamacchia
C: Yankees: Martin
Yankees win catcher by a mile.
1B: BoSox: AGon
1B: Yanks: Tex
Red Sox, but not by a ton
2B: BoSox: Pedroia
2B; Yanks: Cano
Yankees, but this is unbelievebly close.
3B: BoSox: Youk
3B: Yanks: A-Rod
Red Sox take this one
SS: BoSox: Lowrie/Scutaro
SS: Yanks: Jeter
By 2013 The Sox will have this one by a mile, but Jeter wins for now
OF: BoSox: Crawford, Ellsbury, Reddick
OF: Yanks: Gardner, Granderson, Swish
Red Sox get two points on this one, Yanks get 1.
DH: BoSox: Ortiz
DH: Yanks: Posada
Sox handily.
SP: BoSox: Lester, Beckett, Bedard, Lackey, Miller/Wakefield
SP: Yanks: Sabathia, Burnett, Colon, Garcia, Nova/Hughes
yanks, sox, sox, yanks, yanks in order, yanks get 3 sox get 2
SU: BoSox: Bard
SU: Yanks: Robertson
Robertson in a close one.
CL: BoSox: Papelbon
Cl: Yanks: Mo
As lopsided as they come.
TOTALS: Yanks: 9 points BoSox: 7 points
there, it is settled. yankees are better on paper

i agree with everything you say

i want to go to sleep

me too

Haha nice joke

put that on sportcenters not top 10 funny things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that was ssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny


so what if they take forever,as a BBBIIIIIIIGGGGGGG yankee fan it's more fun with more exciting stuff like that,and by the way terrible photo and lines.

Then why dont you make another line

I'm a HUGE avid Yankees fan, and the reason why the last Yankees vs. Red Sox game took 4ever for me was because of the Yankees were AWFUL.

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